My hope.

2 weeks left. only Allah knows how fast I want this to end. Reminiscing the past 10 weeks make me feel overwhelmed. I couldn't be the wife I want to be or hope to be. I feel sorry for my husband, putting up with my attitude for the whole 10 weeks.

I looked almost like nenek kebayan in front of him. no mood in beautifying myself and my home. I can't even breathe. This is so hard. I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted that I feel super malas most of the time. I'm currently in the state where I have to convince myself to enjoy things. I normally enjoy and appreciate little petty things without hard work. I can concentrate hours and hours on things people hardly grateful for.

Thinking deeply.. Silently praying - hoping to have Allah's understanding on things I choose to do, purposely or in-purposely. Soon, insyaAllah I would have my Iman and Taqwa recharges, hoping again to be the one and only Ainul Mardhiah in my husband's life. I miss him so much. we are physically close but emotionally apart (scares me most of the time). with all the stress and a lot of other things going on, I can't even concentrate on myself, let alone others.

I hope to be no longer - selfish.

Sayang sayang Abang.