Now, I know, insyaAllah :')

Every soul shall taste death.

I sometimes spend a moment in my life, wondering how I will 'depart'.

I honestly just can't figure. Afraid is not even a question, as it is inevitable.

This morning, somehow Allah tested me in little pain.

After Subh prayer, I was so ache I laid down on My Imam's lap.

A thought occurred to me - this is how I want to depart.

Lying calmly on My Imam's lap, with his fingers caressing my forehead,

his other hand lightly patting my arm. I feel secured. I pray to Allah to 'invite' me this way, amin.

When my aurah is fully covered and my loved ones are nearby to ease off my pain.

A song I recently get acquainted with.

I want to dedicate to My Imam.

:')

And all along I believed

I would find you

Time has brought

your heart to me.

Alhamdulillah.

Abang,

you are (one) of the most precious treasure Allah give me to.

You are worth all the wait, insyaAllah.

Let's pray to Allah to keep us together till Jannah.

Amin.

I love you.

Life of a Housewife.

I got a taste of it recently, Alhamdulillah.

All thanks to my school holiday.

;)

It's actually not that bad. I have the house all to myself & get to spend with it the way I want.

So my daily routines spent - watching Martha Stewart show, Bella, Wanita Hari Ini, Oprah and Chinese serial drama on 8tv. [I sometimes do feel old when doing these routines :p ]

Just to ensure I'm still 'alive', I have lunch dates sometimes and go to school to see what I can do to prepare for my work next year.

;)

Do I get to do any relaxing? Reading? Baking?

Alhamdulillah, I did but most of the time is more on cleaning, wiping, organizing, folding, scrubbing etc. My refrigerator seems like it just come out from an electrical store. So new and clean.

The house chores are sometimes challenging.

It's almost the same amount of exhaustion I gain when I work at school.

Luck for me, I enjoy doing both chores (most of the time).

Alhamdulillah, this housewife thingy really put me in adorning my house mode. My this month salary has been spent mostly at the furniture store. InsyaAllah I'm even planning to have somebody paint my house this weekend. I'm simply quite nervous about it.

My house it too white, so I pick a very light peachy-brownish-pinky color.

Hopefully it turns out well, amin.

;)

Checklist.

(Khalifah) wives, do keep in mind (or keep anywhere you find appropriate) to have a book or anything as a reference or checklist for your (honorable) wives duty. As Muslims, insyaAllah we have to make sure we are doing everything purely to gain Allah's pleasure duniawi ukhrawi but at the same it is according to

As-Sunnah. Get books that will help you on this. Alhamdulillah, I've found mine. These two are quick check-up to ensure insyaAllah I'm on the right track - that is Islam.

Turn our daily chores into Ibadah, insyaAllah.

So it means we are preparing every second of our life doing saving for Akhirah.

InsyaAllah you can get these books at any bookstore.

~ Honeymoon a.g.a.i.n? ~

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.

We did.

Bukit Tinggi was our destination this time around. Celebrating 2 years as husband and wife.

Again Alhamdulillah, we had great moments. The place we chose MasyaAllah is simply amazing. It was very fresh. The air was cool and moist, I wish I could pack them home.

We stayed at The French Village Hotel. Mind you, all the restaurants there serve alcohol. What My Iman and I did was, we ordered the food and ate them in our hotel room.

-Daruroh-

Enough words, just pictures to share some of our stories.

Enjoy.

I'm so exhausted,

I sometimes found myself cry. It doesn't happen all the time.

Maybe once in a blue moon and even if it occurred it may only take a few moments for me to recover insyaAllah.

Well, it's not like I cry heavily, it happen all of the sudden. Tears just rushing down on my cheeks. Honestly, I'm sort of glad when it happens. As if part of my physical exhaustion is draining out of me. I don't want to sound exaggerative, but when I'm experiencing fatigue, I wish I could drop whatever I'm doing or whatever I'm planning. Of course it never happens so far, Alhamdulillah. If I do that, I'd be the most irresponsible khalifah on earth, wa'iyadzubillah. InsyaAllah troubling others, is the last thing I 'might' want to do.

I don't mean to complain, however house chores (sometimes) really occupy half of my energy I've left after reach home from work. Thinking about this, make me realize no wonder Allah promise such tremendous rewards for wives sacrificing their energy and time completing house works. Alhamdulillah, these beautiful thoughts really help me to continue doing. Hopefully forever, amin.

I always have this silly thoughts in mind :- to hire a maid. Well not like full time maid those kind but more like day-maid for once a week or once a month? You know, to scrub my toilet floor, to sweep the lounge, to wipe off the dust etc.

I recently (finally) voiced out my idea to My Imam. He simply replied :-

"Don't you want to gain those extra pahala anymore?"

I went dumbfounded. "Of course, I do." I answered silently in my heart.

Still, after thinking deeply, I decide to hire "that" maid, once I have a child. Or even better, once I'm pregnant.

*evil grin*

;p

My Accompany :)

Unlike me, My Imam does not enjoy reading as mucho as I do. He prefers listening. So our laptop is filled with many Talks from different famous Ustaz. I have my laptop accompany me while I'm cooking. InsyaAllah am trying my best to never allow a moment leave by without me gaining knowledge.

(Khalifah) wives, let's gain knowledge!

;)

It was around 11pm

when my PTA meeting ended last night. I called on My Imam to find out what he was doing.

"Just finished with the laundry," he said.

Me? - (deeply touched).

May Allah always make you this kind and caring.

My Imam

Abang, thank you for everything.

You patient, love, care, attention, sincerity, sharing.

InsyaAllah I'll be your witness at the Hereafter for all the good deeds you have done and will do.

You are a Soleh husband, I am thankful as Allah have chosen me to be yours in this world.

May Allah guide us to have a blessed marriage and fill our life with soleh and solehah children soon.

Happy 2nd anniversary, Abang.

;')

On cooking ~ ... again!

When nothing seems to work to motivate me to cook - I push myself into spending my time - imagining I'm doing nothing but cook and cook and cook. I do feel guilty = feeding my husband with restaurant food (almost) everyday. Then I met a few mothers ; they are working and have like 3 or more children and THEY STILL COOK! So I told myself - that's it! Why can these wives cook and I can't? Using Khalifah Method - applying the shaping process ,,,, I began with little baby step.

1st - create mood.

Seriously, before, I dragged my feet most of the time to the kitchen to cook. Not good, yes? I know.

My goal - to enjoy cooking and try (at least) one new meal one week)

After a few weeks : Alhamdulillah - target achieved!

Yes, I'm still not THAT good in cooking. The recipe book - it's an encouragement from My Imam, he waits patiently at the living hall while I cook (very extremely) slowly - because I (desperately) NEED to refer the steps accordingly.

*peace*

The "LOVE" is purposely bought to add extra decoration in my kitchen. I just feel like adorning it.

:)

Colorful mini bowls - colors can definitely create mood and excitement. These bowls do help. Heeee... to give me the mood and to have my cooking process more organized and clean.

To show his support (again & always insyaAllah) - My Imam present me a salad bowl.

Thank you Abang, may Allah bless you. I LOVE it!!

I feel complete, I mean I feel appropriate : now that I spend (purposely & happily) some part of my day in my (tiny & sweet) kitchen.

Cooking make me complete at least 2 khalifah responsibilities - make myself good and help others become good by preparing healthy, clean halalan toyyiban meals for my family.

InsyaAllah.

(khalifah) wives - let's cook! :)

Happy (belated) Birthday, Abang!

You are only a year older but a lot wiser and more patience in handling our marriage and what happens in life unexpectedly. I can't be thankful enough for that. I'd always admire (+ appreciate) your sincerity and kindness. May Allah reward you handsomely duniawi wa ukhrawi for all the deeds you have done.

p/s: InsyaAllah I'm reaching 25 this month. Thinking of doing something I never have done. Wish me luck (+ pray for me).

~ "Reunion" ~

After a week apart.

I spent last week at Singapore, while My Imam at Kedah. Busy with work, make us realize : (super) extra effort need to be put in to have a healthy and happy marriage insyaAllah.

We can do it, Abang.

InsyaAllah.

:)

p/s : Looking forward for our holiday end of this week. May Allah make it come true, amin.

On cooking ~

I'm not a typical ladies - who love cooking or at least enjoy doing it. I'm not proud to admit : but I'm rather a lazy cook ;/The outcomes are normally not that tasty, it put me into frustration not to pursue this 'habit' anymore.

:p

My Imam on the other hand, would make such a big deal out of it. He'd praise my cooking style, he'd brag on how much pahala I'd gain, how delicious my cooking are, how sweet I look in my apron and the list goes on. His tricks sometimes work, most of the time _ don't.

[^_^]

I'd normally drag my feet to the kitchen, just to have anything in the fridge being cooked. However, for some miracle reason, I'd enjoy doing it eventually. Well, I'm hoping the feeling I had for that split second lasts forever - so insyaAllah, I can istiqamah ; on cooking :)

please excuse the messy kitchen ladies, I'm a working wife..

*peace*

Abang...

Our (little) Date.

After so long.

Honestly, I can't even recall when was the last time we had one.

My Imam just finished his final paper yesterday and I just came back from a 2-full day courses at PJ.

Exhausted? Yes. But we believe we need this time-out together. Besides, hectic schedule is waiting right before us : starting today.

Don't think there will be any time left for a little outing this week.

*sigh*

By the way, notice the straws ; gazing at each other?

So were we :)

Syukran Abang..

for this dedication ;)

My favorite men :)

Abah & My Imam.

Abah is not well - he's admitted at SJMC. Somehow, I'm sort of 'glad' he's sick. First, I get to visit him and 2nd he can use this time to have a very good rest. Reaching 60 but he's still working as if he just started his 1st job - committed as ever. May Allah bless you, Abah :)

Again, alhamdulillah - I also got a chance to meet my baby : Aida! It's been ages since we last met. I miss her so much. Hope to have more dates with her soon, amin.

May Allah reward both of you handsomely duniawi wa ukhrawi for all your love, care, attention and sacrifices.

Ya Allah.. :)

It's been awhile,

since I last took picture of My Imam. This is the latest one.

:)

Abang, when is our next holiday?

I want to go Thailand.

Now, there..

I don't want to be selfish.

I can't expect people to go my way.

I can't expect people to wait.

To wait for me.

I'm still struggling or in a more Arabic term - mujahadah :')

So when people decide to leave, let them be.

I'm still struggling to 'crawl' let alone to 'walk' or even 'run'.

I appreciate the ni'mah, but I think it's time for me to let go.

I've learned - life is no longer a journey.

It's a race.

Fastabikhul khairat, remember?

So I need someone who can keep up with my pace.

I'm just not good . . .

at being a wife. I spend most of my time lately - thinking how unfit I am to be a wife, let alone a mother. I'm so not good at appreciating. I guess it's due to lack of feeling grateful to Allah for giving me such a soleh & perfect husband. How can I ever be forgiven? I seems to be forgetting my promises. I'm so sorry, Abang.

After a long discussion with my (so called) counselor: Miss Aida - we came up with conclusion : I'm having a mid-life crisis. (ya, whatever)

Abang,

you are so perfect, you really are - there are times I feel like I don't deserve you.

I don't deserve your love, I don't deserve your hugs, your smiles, your kiss, your care, your patience, your warmth, your attention, your *cough* money, your sweetness, your gentleness. . . oh the list goes on.

I know deep in my heart - Ainul Mardhiah is waving her love to you from Jannah. I am nothing compare to her. What make me feel even sadder I'm not even trying to be like her in your life. We are drifting apart, aren't we?