Thursday, March 31, 2011
I don't know
where to begin.
I'm covered with lots of emotions that there are times I feel suffocate, out of breath then lead to exhaustion and suddenly tears are dropping one by one.
I spend most of my time (lately) thinking... I ended up having sleepless nights and feeling all not-so-good the next day. I'm definitely not a morning person - I normally forgot how to smile and not in the mood of having any sort of conversation during that hour.
Hubby wasn't home for the past month (well, almost) & walla! for some unidentified reason I find that - a welcome relief ;/ (tak baik kan? I know)
It's maybe a little too late - but I "discover" this hidden part of me after I got married (allow me to repeat: AFTER!) : I'm not good of anything that is related to commitment ;/ Any girl would be so lucky to have my husband as theirs : hubby is more than helpful with the house chores, very generous, talk and remind me gently, super sweet. . . oh, the list goes on ;/
But then again, for some unidentified reason - deep inside me : I'm wishing I'm still single ;/
Yes. . . the cuddle, good night kiss and arms wrap tightly around me sounds like super comfy & relaxing to end my day with but most of the time, no, let me rephrase some of the time : I just wish I can sleep alone with no one bothering ;/
I'm having a happy marriage - yes there were quarrels and mini tiny arguments sometimes but it's not that big! My parents in law are the best. They both are very soft spoken and hardly interfere with our marriage. My mother in law would normally bring me any sort of gifts from kampung..
???
(oh Ina, please learn to be thankful. The end is coming. Why do you bother thinking so much?)
I'm covered with lots of emotions that there are times I feel suffocate, out of breath then lead to exhaustion and suddenly tears are dropping one by one.
I spend most of my time (lately) thinking... I ended up having sleepless nights and feeling all not-so-good the next day. I'm definitely not a morning person - I normally forgot how to smile and not in the mood of having any sort of conversation during that hour.
Hubby wasn't home for the past month (well, almost) & walla! for some unidentified reason I find that - a welcome relief ;/ (tak baik kan? I know)
It's maybe a little too late - but I "discover" this hidden part of me after I got married (allow me to repeat: AFTER!) : I'm not good of anything that is related to commitment ;/ Any girl would be so lucky to have my husband as theirs : hubby is more than helpful with the house chores, very generous, talk and remind me gently, super sweet. . . oh, the list goes on ;/
But then again, for some unidentified reason - deep inside me : I'm wishing I'm still single ;/
Yes. . . the cuddle, good night kiss and arms wrap tightly around me sounds like super comfy & relaxing to end my day with but most of the time, no, let me rephrase some of the time : I just wish I can sleep alone with no one bothering ;/
I'm having a happy marriage - yes there were quarrels and mini tiny arguments sometimes but it's not that big! My parents in law are the best. They both are very soft spoken and hardly interfere with our marriage. My mother in law would normally bring me any sort of gifts from kampung..
???
(oh Ina, please learn to be thankful. The end is coming. Why do you bother thinking so much?)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Today is my last day
of working before the school holiday starts ;)
hooray!
But still I need to go back to school on next Monday AND Tuesday as I have trainings to attend to.
Then I'm off to Kelantan to visit my most beloved sister, Kak Ti and her happy family. I'm going alone, hubby wont be joining as he has his own trainings to attend to till end of this month then insyaAllah . . . next month he's going for Umrah. So basically I'll be 'single' for one whole month.
It is a relief as I wont be feeling guilty towards hubby. Though I'm not going to deny I know I'm going to miss him so much - because no matter how busy my day can be _ I can still feel calm knowing that at the end of the night I'll be sleeping close with someone I love ;)
. . .
Yes, I'm looking forward to my vacation - but the thought of separating with my babies make my heart sick.
I'm going to miss each one of them terribly. I wish I can kidnap a few of them (you know, my favorites... heee)
I'm so attached with this nymphs already. aiyo!
I'm planning to read books during my holiday. (OK, maybe a book? he ;p ) God knows how much I miss reading.
[note to self : go back home and choose ONE book to indulge]
happy holiday - ing everyone!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Pouring my heart out
Currently (super) busy with a few 'other' work leave me no time to even get my hair shampoo-ed. It feels as if my brain never stop thinking (of to-do things) that I wake (almost) every morning lately with a major headache and my neck so tense.
So I cry.
;/
I (may have) omit my duty as a family girl (wife, daughter, niece, granddaughter,sister *cough* daughter in law) and everyday hoping (& praying) these people : MY FAMILY, will simply understand and accept things as they are.
I owe them : a world.
I need to learn to let go of my work until I go to school again in the next morning.
Keep telling myself - to perform tahajud but to no avail. I struggle every morning just to get my eyes open and put my comfy blanket aside ;p I want to make that moment my ME TIME. So far, no succeed.
Though I may experience emotional, physical and psychological exhaustion . . . Alhamdulillah, I still manage to have genuine laugh with my students and my colleagues.
Oh, what a welcome relief ;)
Note to self : I need to make periodic assessment of the direction of my own life to determine if I'm living the way I want. But where to begin?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Story using very bad language
Mahmud was a very pious man, but he was not very attractive looking. One day, he was walking along the road, minding his own business, when a lady came up to him, and started calling him names and abusing him. This lady kept saying all kinds of nasty things, and Mahmud just listened to her patiently. Finally, when she was finished calling him names and abusing him, Mahmud just greeted her, smiled, and said
"and a nice day to you," and continued on his way.
Why did Mahmud, the pious man, behave this way?
It is because he knew that everything she said was just a reflection of her own inner self.
If you use bad language, you are just making obvious to everybody how far away you really are from Allah, since your words are in reality a reflection of your own inner self.
Friday, March 4, 2011
It's Friday already!!
Yippie! Yahoo!
No, I'm not excited because tomorrow's holiday, but because I'm going to have a lunch date with Abah & Aida! Have you seen Jumper? Ya, the movie.. Abah is like somebody like that. He's travelling all over the world - working unfortunately ;p Today, he's maybe in US then two day after that he's in Bangkok! I have to make appointment just to have a quick glance on him. So insyaAllah tomorrow I'm going to meet him and report all the latest details.
Allahummayasir wa latuasir rabbitamimbilkhoir.
Today, I'm so happy.
Right before I went to sleep last night, I received SMS from my pricipal -
"Salam Zarina, that was the best ukhuwah circle we've ever had. You definitely have style girl. Well done! Nanti Kak Shomi belanja Nando's k."
Yes, I was in charge of this month Ukhuwah Circle. Alhamdulillah, everything went as planned. Such a great relief! Alhamdulillah. I do hope I've please everyone, insyaAllah.
I didn't capture any of my moments yesterday - just a picture of Abang Syidi - the ustaz in charge of mini tazkirah ;)
(Abg Syidi, cepatlah kahwin!)
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Dinner Date
with my Orange and Apricot ;)
Such a great relief to find out when we can have someone (or two) real close - just to share and spill something immediately at our working area.
Alhamdulillah.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
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