On being a teacher

I know I'm not the best teacher in the world.

I know this because I'm not good at teaching and forever delaying on doing my lesson plan. I have tonnes of moments when I just pause in front of my students : not knowing how to teach, well not knowing how to explain actually.

It pun me unease when my students raised their hands to ask questions. I'd abruptly stop my 'lecturing', breath in deeply then nod for the question. Funny thing is, when I said "I don't know." My students would go like, "I know you know but you just want us to find the answers by ourselves."

So I smiled.

The truth is, I'm completely lost.

I don't think I remember any of my teachers from my primary school except some of them when I studied in Singapore. I guess it was one of the significant phase in my life. I studied in an international school. I used to have my lunch next to an Italian, Indonesian and some Japanese.

I made friend with the Dutch, Indian and even the Jews.

The exposure was adequate. Allah gave me ample time to learn everything I need to know during that moment.

Now, that I am a teacher. I honestly hope my students will remember me ;) even when they become a grandparents. I know I'll be heartbroken if they forget me (Does that make me insincere?). My children are so generous with hugs. When they wrap their arms around me, I feel my heart at ease. For that, I am super grateful.

I love everything about being a (khalifah) teacher. Especially when I'm on my morning duty - I get to greet them at the gate, I'd be the first teacher to receive their smiles and salaam ;) Oh, such a therapy. I love to escort them on a trip. We gain new experiences together, walk hand in hand and get all excited about little petty things ;)

I love being around children but I don't really love teaching them. I'm not good at teaching. (yet?)